Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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