Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
