Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
