ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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