My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
