Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Holy shit dude........stairs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
