redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
