no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
