But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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