She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
