Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
