i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
