Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize