the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Less talking, more tequila
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
