I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
