The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize