i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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