I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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