I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
