I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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