theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
