She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you didnt know i had herpes?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize