Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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