We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize