he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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