Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
