There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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