You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
