apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
