he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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