I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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