In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
