Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
