i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
