when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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