Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
