super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
