Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
