she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
