Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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