You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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