There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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