it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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