Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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