He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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