A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize