You made me cry and you don't even care
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
