she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
