I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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