Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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