Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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