I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Acid is not a monday night drug
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
