we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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