Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
