Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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