So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
