I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
