Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
