giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
