dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize