living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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