we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's never too late to be topless.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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